So, I haven’t been on progress in my journal at the moment because I’ve changed my coach. The reason being is that I’m getting so big and there isn’t any interaction with the coach, which really freaks me out. And I know she’s trying to bulk me up so muscle definition comes, but I’ve just been subjected to a fear that I’ve never had before.
And she doesn’t communicate. And also she calls me Stacy, which is just the weirdest thing ever. If you’re going to be a coach, make sure you get the client’s name right. It’s really important. So I am with a new lady called Sophie and she starts me on the 14th and she’s going to lean me right down. I’m really, really excited because obviously, I want to be lean and muscular and not big and bulky like a gentleman.
I feel a little bit deflated at the moment because even though I look okay and I’m healthy looking, I feel that I am just not where I wanted to be. Still eating calories, but not as many. I’m on 1,400 now, which is great for me because it’s way too much food for me to eat in a day. And I do get overwhelmed by it.
If I am in training and if I’m bodybuilding to stack up, that’s fine, but I’m not doing that right now. This journey tweak has been really difficult for my mental health. I’ve been trying to understand what I’m doing without fearing that I’m adding more weight each day, which I don’t want. My clothes don’t fit, but my stomach is tight, which is very odd.
But I’m going with it, working it all out, trying to be as good as I can be. My period is today. And I just want to eat and lay in bed. So, it’s really important that you let your body just eat and lay in bed. When this happens, don’t fight it. Don’t push yourself to the limits. I might go out for a nice little stroll in a moment because it is sunny out there, so that’s something that I could think about doing.
I’ve just got this monkey on my back where I think, “Oh, I just want to lay here just a little bit longer.” So, this is affecting me in all ways, my business, everything at the moment. COVID, people are obviously getting sick from it and canceling appointments. My head at the moment is like, “Where am I going with this business? I’ve spent an absolute fortune. Where can it take me?”
I’m going to focus on my weight training and just let what will be, be, I feel. It’s been a difficult couple of weeks. And I’m sure that’s the transition for changing food as well. I think you create a different person.
I’m going to go now and just relax. And just be myself for a few days and get my head back into the game, because I know that I’ve been not really focusing at all on my business. So time to get back, time to think about my future with my husband, where we’re going to be. And save lots of money and be in that space where we should be.
I think everyone needs to take a step back and look at what they’ve got and how it makes them feel. And what can they do better each day. That’s the key.
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